Lack of self-awareness in leadership is a blind spot, and some blind spots can be fatal. Self-aware leaders attract followers because they are not afraid to admit their own vulnerabilities. So why is self-awareness so hard for some leaders to master?
Dan Goleman identifies self-awareness as the first of four foundational skills of emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people score high on self-awareness. Simply put, self-awareness is knowledge about self.
Experts say that self-awareness has four dimensions:
- Awareness of how we impact others
- Awareness of the thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves
- Awareness of who we really are
- Awareness of who we want to become.
So what makes some people more self-aware than others? Can it be developed? Well, to begin with, childhood experiences and upbringing play an outsized part in the development of self-awareness. A balanced, kind, and understanding environment can go a long way in developing a child’s self- awareness.
Self-aware leaders are able to develop self-awareness in their team members by leading by example. Their actions emphasize the right behaviors. Team members then try to emulate this.
The key ingredients of self-awareness are:
- Humility
- Active listening
- Introspection
- Seeking feedback
Self-aware people learn to surround themselves with people from whom they can learn. They are willing to admit that they don’t have all the answers. ‘I don’t know’ becomes a legitimate response. Self-awareness thus throws a spotlight on our strengths and weaknesses. We can then strike partnerships with those who possess strengths we don’t possess. If I don’t know what my strengths and weaknesses are, how can I leverage my strengths and deal with my weaknesses?
Self-aware leaders attract followers because they are not afraid to admit their own vulnerabilities. Vulnerable leaders are far more effective than leaders with swagger and those who fake it hoping they make it. Humility also attracts the best among humans and repels those with baser instincts. Self-awareness opens our eyes to our inner selves and helps us put in efforts in the right direction.
Here are two examples:
At the personal level, if I am in the habit of smoking, I ought to be aware that it is injurious to my health and that of others. At the professional level, if speed with numbers is my strength, I ought to be aware that I might be weak on accuracy. It isn’t uncommon for speed with numbers to be accompanied by inaccuracy. Knowing this enables me to guard against it and do something about it.
Lack of self-awareness is like a blind spot. Some blind spots can be fatal. Not being self-aware makes it much harder to leverage our strengths and deal with our weaknesses. Self-awareness also provides insight into our emotional and mental states.
Almost every strength is associated with a weakness. The knife is useful because it is sharp. It is also dangerous because it is sharp. If I try to reduce the sharpness to make it less dangerous, I also render it less useful. It is not worth trying to get rid of all our weaknesses. Many of them are better dealt with by involving others who are strong in those areas. Smart people leverage their strengths.
Self-awareness also acts as a compass pointing towards True North. It throws much needed light on the greater purpose of our lives. We are so often caught up in the daily grind of life that it begins to feel like a burden. A sense of greater purpose almost immediately lifts this burden off our chests, and we are able to shrug it off.
After twenty successful years of work, in my early forties, I had two traumatic personal experiences at work that shook my self-confidence. One event was triggered by a boss who was culturally tone deaf. The other was due to a boss who believed in cutting costs at any cost. Fortunately, my wonderful spouse and supportive family were by my side. This allowed me to do some deep introspection (it took a couple of years), and I found a new meaning in life. Self-awareness in hindsight also informed me that the second event might have been averted had I been more proactive and vocal about the actions of my boss.
These events also helped me embark on the journey of self-awareness though I was not familiar with the term and Dan Goleman’s work was not yet widely known. Regardless, this helped me become more aware of my strengths and weaknesses. It also gave me the conviction to start my own consulting firm. Thanks to greater self-awareness, I have been able to take better care of myself, have deeper relationships, and live a more fulfilling life. It was instrumental in the success of my consulting business.
In summary, self-awareness is the foundation for high emotional intelligence. A knowledge driven world demands that leaders appeal to the hearts and heads of their teams. Self-aware leaders are better equipped to do this.
Here are some takeaways:
1. Be humble
2. Surround yourself with people from whom you can learn
3. Expend most of your energy utilizing your greatest strengths.
4. Don’t be afraid to admit that you too are vulnerable.
Self-aware leaders are more authentic leaders. Others can see and sense their authenticity. Self-aware people can lead others more naturally. Great organizations carefully assess the self-awareness of those they wish to develop into positions of leadership.
